Do You Know Someone Who Feels Lonely?

Some people feel painfully lonely or “alarmed aloneness”, while others may be alone whilst in company. I want to pause and think of all the lonely people right now….

As most of us have experienced painful loneliness, or being alone and frightened, the mirror cells (in our brain) will get triggered when we think of someone else going through loneliness.

Maybe that someone is you, right now? Are you OK, or are you struggling? Below are tips for helping yourself or others with loneliness. There is also a related article with practical tips here.

In Wales, we have just started a 17 day lockdown (a Firebreak) as I write. Many people are worried about their, or others’, mental health. Mental health is something we tend to ignore when we (and others) are mentally healthy….we tend to ignore it until it affects us in some way.

Smartly dressed man sitting at the front of his house on a veranda, with his head in his hands, and a wide brimmed hat on.

If you have noticed that someone in your family or community is lonely or alone, is part of you longing to help them during the social isolation to know they are OK, so you can relax?

If you want to help someone else, firstly it helps to have a full emotional tank yourself. (That old oxygen-mask-in-an-aeroplane-crash analogy, that I find sooo true – put yours on first, and then you can help more effectively.)

So let’s start with you, some “You time”. It’s all about you, whichever way we look at it (and that is Okay!) If you want to skip the “you” part, scroll down.

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Newly Single: Building Interdependency

A client recently lost her partner rather suddenly. She was fairly dependent on him for most things.

An old wall in Exeter, made of old worn red bricks.
What happens when you hit a wall?

She (let’s call her Silkie) had begun to be less dependent over the previous few weeks, knowing something wasn’t right, however, once she lost him she not only had grief to cope with, but much more. She would like to share how she created the support she needed, in an interdependant way, in case it helps others.

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Got Stuck using NVC to Restore a Conversation?

bolders piled up making art, with sea in background
Harmony can be a temporary position and my aim is to walk towards it in a way that opens doors to more needs being met.

I always hold that a shift in a conflict appears when using Nonviolent Communication (NVC), rather than us searching for it. I find that surprising, magical and beautiful. One minute it looks like there is no solution or harmony on the horizon, the next moment “Hey Presto”: Both people (or all of the group, if it is a group mediation) are actually happier than they were with their original prefered solution. This article is for those who understand the NVC resolution process, and haven’t yet got to that shift.

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