Newly Single: Building Interdependency

A client recently lost her partner rather suddenly. She was fairly dependent on him for most things.

An old wall in Exeter, made of old worn red bricks.
What happens when you hit a wall?

She (let’s call her Silkie) had begun to be less dependent over the previous few weeks, knowing something wasn’t right, however, once she lost him she not only had grief to cope with, but much more. She would like to share how she created the support she needed, in an interdependant way, in case it helps others.

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Got Stuck using NVC to Restore a Conversation?

Harmony can be a temporary position and my aim is to walk towards it in a way that opens doors to more needs being met.

I always hold that a shift in a conflict arrives when using NVC resolution process, rather than searching for it, and I find that surprising, magical and beautiful. One minute it looks like there is no solution or harmony on the horizon, the next “Hey Presto”, people are happier than they were with their original prefered strategy. This article is for those who understand the process, and haven’t yet got to that shift.

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Would You Deepen Your Conversation if it Gets Sticky at a Social?

Having just had a very socialable time, at Christmas and New Year get togethers and parties, I wish I had re-connected with Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s prose beforehand. There are several paragraphs that really resonate with me, and I would like to say a bit about them and why. For those who don’t know me, this may help. The full prose is in the previous post. Let me know if you would inquire, of your temporary companion, about any of these!

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.”

Well, if they are passionate about their work, it does interest me. Otherwise, I’m happy to skip paid work as a topic.

“I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.”

Yum, I really love to know this stuff, Continue reading

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are, I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool, and for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own. If you can dance with wildness, and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes, without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bare the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even if it is not pretty every day and if you can source yourself from god’s presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon — YES.

It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied, I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer – Indian Elder.

Escape Your Chains

To keep up with Escape Your Chains’ events, please like/follow on Facebook.

Practice Group is every other Wedesday (and free to new comers). To see which Wedesdays and more information click here for the page about Practice Group. You can sign up to come via Facebook or contact me if you don’t use Facebook. I can email you before each Practice Group to remind you when it is. Or if you leave a comment below asking, I will automatically get your email address.

Giraffe’s have very large hearts, can get a good view of things, and their saliva can disolve thorns. So Marshall Rosenberg chose them to represent the paradigm shift to speak from the heart, that he taught so many people.

Empathy Day

Please contact me if you are interested in this training for your group, organisation or company who want to go that bit further, and see the benefits of deepening your empathy skills to work with clients and patients.

NVC empathy is deeper than most levels of empathy as you can read below from a previous training for individuals.

Empathy is the key to relationships in my opinion: resolving conflicts, feeling more deeply connected, supported and safe. One of the most common requests that I hear is “how do I get good at empathy”!

Empathy is a way to step into someone else’s shoes, without trying to solve anything. Empathy helps us to unravel emotions too, so things become clearer, calmer and we get more space. Mmmm, delicious! Here is the opportunity to spend a day on empathy skills: further developing them and be surrounded by empathy.newport empathy day 21.3.15 There will be limited places and it is likely to be popular, so grab your place early!