Do You Know Someone Who Feels Lonely?

Some people feel painfully lonely, others may be alone in a frightening way. I want to stop and think of all those people right now. Most of us have experienced painful loneliness, or being alone in a frightening way, so our mirror cells get triggered when we think of someone else going through it. And maybe that someone is you, right now. Are you OK, or are you struggling? Below are tips for helping yourself or others with loneliness.

In Wales we have just started a 17 day lockdown (a Firebreak) as I write. Many people are worried about their, or others’, mental health. Mental health is something we tend to ignore when we (and others) have it….until it affects us in some way.

Smartly dressed man sitting at the front of his house on a veranda, with his head in his hands, and a wide brimmed hat on.

If you have noticed that someone in your family or community is lonely or alone, is part of you is longing to help them during the social isolation to know they are OK, so you can relax?

If you want to help someone else, firstly it helps to have a full emotional tank yourself. (That old oxygen-mask-in-an-aeroplane-crash analogy, that I find sooo true – put yours on first, and then you can help more effectively.)

So let’s start with you, some “You time”. It’s all about you, whichever way we look at it (and that is Okay!) If you want to skip the “you” part, scroll down.

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Newly Single: Building Interdependency

A client recently lost her partner rather suddenly. She was fairly dependent on him for most things.

An old wall in Exeter, made of old worn red bricks.
What happens when you hit a wall?

She (let’s call her Silkie) had begun to be less dependent over the previous few weeks, knowing something wasn’t right, however, once she lost him she not only had grief to cope with, but much more. She would like to share how she created the support she needed, in an interdependant way, in case it helps others.

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Got Stuck using NVC to Restore a Conversation?

bolders piled up making art, with sea in background
Harmony can be a temporary position and my aim is to walk towards it in a way that opens doors to more needs being met.

I always hold that a shift in a conflict appears when using Nonviolent Communication (NVC), rather than us searching for it. I find that surprising, magical and beautiful. One minute it looks like there is no solution or harmony on the horizon, the next moment “Hey Presto”: Both people (or all of the group, if it is a group mediation) are actually happier than they were with their original prefered solution. This article is for those who understand the NVC resolution process, and haven’t yet got to that shift.

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Would You Deepen Your Conversation if it Gets Sticky at a Social?

Having just had a very socialable time, at Christmas and New Year get togethers and parties, I wish I had re-connected with Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s prose beforehand. There are several paragraphs that really resonate with me, and I would like to say a bit about them and why. For those who don’t know me, this may help. The full prose is in the previous post. Let me know if you would inquire, of your temporary companion, about any of these!

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.”

Well, if they are passionate about their work, it does interest me. Otherwise, I’m happy to skip paid work as a topic.

“I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.”

Yum, I really love to know this stuff, Continue reading